The rules to sleeping with Mommy

Mommy says there is rules to sleeping in the bed with hers and if me is going to continue to sleep with hers then me has to learn them.
Mommmy says the rules are this:

1. If Mommy is sleeping in hers and Daddy's bedroom then no Murphy on the bed. This doesn't seem fair to me. Miss Pitty Pat gets to sleep on the bed with them so why not me?? Me asked Miss Pitty Pat since hers always sleeps in the bed with Mommy, but her just laughed at me and said me had to figger this one out by meself. Me thinks hers doesn't like sharing the bed with me and Mommy.
2. If Mommy goes into the spare bedroom to sleep cause Daddy is snoring then me has to wait for her to get into the bed first. She says this is only fair since her needs some room too. Her says that if me gets in first then there is no room left for her.
3. No laying on top of Mommy's feets and legs. Her says that having a 70# boxer puppy laying across her feets and legs makes them go to sleep and hers can't feel them. Me is scratching me little boxer head over this one. Isn't this the whole idea of sleeping in the bed? Me thoughts you would want to have everything go to sleep including the feets and legs. Her says that it is not a good idea to have the feets and legs go to sleep cause hers can't feel them and if hers had to get up in the middle of the night, hers might fall down.
4. No passing gas in the bed. Mommy says that its not very pleasant to wake up to the smell of rotten eggs cause me farted in the bed. Now this is not something me can help. Me doesn't like waking up to the smell either. In fact me has gotten up and moved from laying on Mommys feets and legs to move to the top of the bed to lay on her head. Which brings me to rule #5.
5. No laying on top of Mommy's head. Her says she likes to be able to breathe while her is sleeping and if me lays on her head then hers can't do it. Her says breathing is important and her really likes to breath except when me is breaking rule number
6. No chewing on bones or other things in the bed. Mommy says that hearing me gnaw on bones or hard rubber toys doesn't make it easy for her to sleep.
7. No licking myself. This also makes it hard to sleep
8. No licking Mommy while her is sleeping. See rule 7 for the reason
9. If me wakes Mommy up to go outside then me has to come back in when me is finished. No playing!!! This makes mommy very crabby. Hers says that playing fetch in the middle of the night is not a good thing. This rule applies if me is sleeping in the bed with her or in the bedroom with her and Daddy. Her says the same goes for rule number 6 and 7 too.
10. No snoring. That's the reason hers got out of her bed with daddy and went to the spare bedroom to sleep and if me is snoring to then hers won't get no sleep.

Me has looked everywhere for the rules but can't find them. What is rules anyway?? Them's not in the Boxer Union Guide Book, cause me looked. Nothing about how to sleep in a bed with your person. Besides her has lots of rules for sleeping. Me will try to follow the rules cause me doesn't want to get kicked out of the bed when Mommy is in the spare bedroom but no wonder peoples are always sleepy. Thems should just do what dogs do, lick themselves a few times, curl up in a ball and go to sleep.

Murphy